Doing it Alone -- Single Parents

I'm sure one of the irritating things about being a single parents parent is the constant assumption in pregnancy and baby information that there are always two doing it. Pictures of mothers and babies in magazines and TV series always depict smiling, happy, well-groomed mothers who invariably have smiling, well-groomed, caring men sitting beside them. The reality is that many parents are on their own a great deal of the time because of absent partners.

I am guilty myself of not mentioning single parents specifically throughout this article, mainly because of the difficulties in constantly referring to the total range of parenthood experiences. They are usually women, less occasionally men. All of their stories and reasons for being on their own are different. Some women choose to be pregnant alone so they don't miss the experience, but for most not having a partner is not their option of choice: rather, the result of an unplanned pregnancy of relationship problems.

The lovely things that babies bring are there for everyone whether they have a partner or not, but not having anyone to share the physical and emotional demands of baby care with makes the job harder.

A few tips just for you

Contact the Family Assistant Office to make sure you get all the government assistance you are entitled to.
Try to arrange to have someone or parent with you for the first three weeks or so after the birth as this is usually a physically and emotionally draining time ( a weird combination of exhilaration. extreme fatigue, relief and anxiety).
Make sure you know where to go or phone for help, the nearest children's hospital, the child and family health nurse, a mother and baby centre, a family doctor and so on. Put all the numbers into your mobile and/or have a list by the landline.
Take up all offers of practical help. When it is offered give the helper specific ways in which they can be of assistance.
It is of huge benefit fot all parents to have access to a network of reliable friends and family but this is particularly so for single parents. If you don't have this support it is crucial for you to establish contact with other mothers, single or otherwise. Obviously having contact with other single parents means you are spending time with people going through the same experience as you but you'll have a lot in common with all mothers so don't limit your options here. Mothers' group can be invaluable for this or you can find out via your local council or community healthy centre what might be available for you to tap into. Most local areas have a range of resources available for mothers and babies.
Make staying sane and healthy a priority. It's normal to feel apprehensive about raising children, most of us do. This is one time when you really do need to live one day at a time until you adjust to your new life. Eat well, do some simple exercise and catch up on sleep whenever you can.
Never lose sight of the fact that the main things babies and children need are love and security which you can give in bucket loads. there will be times when you find the going hard but very few women - or men - regret having children.
You may need childcare during the first year for social and/or work purposes. For short periods occasional childcare centres are available to give you time off for shopping, dental appointment, study, social events and many are approved for government subsidy of their fees.

Taken from Robin Barker Baby Love Book