Preparing for Parenting

If you are planning to have a baby or you are already pregnant, it can be helpful recognize that there will be inevitable changes when you become a parent. You will be thrust into a new and vitally important role which will absorb massive amounts of your time and energy as you provide the nurturing-the loving care and guidance which your baby need. This responsibility will continue for many years and you can expect your emotional ties to bind you permanently. The demands will be great but the rewards can make all the effort worthwhile.

Sometimes a baby is conceived accidentally and parents' feelings can be very mixed. The initial reaction can be delight but it may cause dismay and even panic depending on the circumstances at the time. Following the initial shock it is often possible to accept the fact that a baby is coming and concentrate on ways to adapt to the reality and move on to accept and, in time, even enjoy the pregnancy.

Before your baby is born you could think or some ways to make life simpler and consider new plans you need to make. For example think how you can minimise housework and streamline shopping and cooking, how you can obtain the rest you need you need as you manage your baby's frequent feeding and wakeful times. You could investigate child care facilities if you plan to return to work outside you home. It can be helpful to attend to some of the paper work which must be done -e.g. fill out form for family Tax Benefit (and parenting Allowance if applicable).Know that you will be continually learning. It is likely that your daily routine will often be turned upside down and you may feel that you are no longer control. If you can accept this, and even find something to laugh about, you can expect life to become easier as time passes. Parents need to talk together, negotiate differences and find ways to have some "time out" alone and with each other. Lone parents really do need special support. Apart from regaining strength following the birth. Lone parents have the sole responsibility of the new baby whom they are learning to know and care for plus all the normal day to day chores. Somehow find a way of taking needed rest whenever possible particularly during the first six weeks. Enlist friends and family and look for outside help. You can contact Lone Parents Family Support and other such groups.

If you understand, before your baby arrives, that mixed feelings are normal - joy and delight one minute, anxiety and frustration the next--you can be accepting of these feelings. If you are able to make adjustments without feeling guilty you will be able to plan and make decision to benefit you all.

When planning to have a baby you can aim to:

have good health before conception and during pregnancy,
produce a healthy baby as easily as possible,
regain strength rapidly following birth, and
begin caring effectively for this new individual.

You will do these things best if you plan well and have a realxed understanding of yourself and your own reactions to new situations. It is important not to have rigid expectations of the experience ahead.

Obtaining information is the basic for planning and understanding. You need to feel confident that the information you receive is sound. Identify the types of care available and question anything you feel is unclear or you doubt. You will then be in a position to make informed choices.